Learning to Let Go: How to Forgive Yourself

Forgiving ourselves is a concept many of us struggle with. We replay past mistakes, carry guilt, and wrestle with shame, wondering if we’re worthy of letting go. While the Bible doesn’t explicitly use the phrase “forgive yourself,” it offers profound truths about forgiveness, grace, and how we can live free from the burden of self-condemnation.

Here’s what Scripture teaches about forgiving ourselves and embracing the freedom God offers.

Forgiveness Begins with God

The foundation of forgiving ourselves lies in understanding and accepting God’s forgiveness.

• 1 John 1:9 says:

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

When we bring our sins and failures to God, He promises to forgive us completely. This forgiveness isn’t earned by our efforts but is a gift of His grace through Jesus Christ (Ephesians 2:8-9).

If the Creator of the universe, who is holy and just, forgives us, then holding on to guilt is like saying His forgiveness isn’t enough. Accepting His grace is the first step in letting go of self-condemnation.

We Are Not Defined by Our Mistakes

Often, the inability to forgive ourselves comes from identifying too closely with our failures. But the Bible reminds us that in Christ, we are made new.

• 2 Corinthians 5:17 declares:

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

God doesn’t see us as the sum of our mistakes. Instead, He sees us through the lens of Christ’s righteousness. When we cling to our past sins, we are denying the transformative power of God’s grace.

Guilt vs. Conviction

It’s important to distinguish between guilt and conviction.

• Guilt is a tool of the enemy, used to keep us trapped in shame and regret. Satan is described as the accuser in Revelation 12:10, constantly reminding us of our failures to make us feel unworthy of God’s love.

• Conviction, on the other hand, is the work of the Holy Spirit. It leads us to repentance and restoration (John 16:8).

Once we’ve repented and received God’s forgiveness, guilt has no place in our lives. Romans 8:1 assures us:

“Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

When we refuse to forgive ourselves, we’re holding on to a weight that God has already lifted.

The Danger of Self-Condemnation

When we fail to forgive ourselves, we risk falling into self-condemnation, which can hinder our relationship with God and others.

• Psalm 103:12 reminds us of God’s forgiveness:

“As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us.”

If God has removed our sins, why do we keep carrying them? Self-condemnation can lead to feelings of unworthiness, which may prevent us from fully living out our calling and experiencing the abundant life Jesus promises (John 10:10).

Forgiving Ourselves is About Trusting God

Forgiving ourselves isn’t about ignoring our mistakes or pretending they didn’t happen. It’s about trusting that God’s grace is sufficient.

• Isaiah 1:18 says:

“Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”

When we hold on to guilt, we’re essentially saying that Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross wasn’t enough to cover our sins. But His work is complete (John 19:30). Trusting in His forgiveness allows us to release the weight of our past.

Practical Steps to Forgiving Ourselves

While understanding God’s forgiveness is foundational, here are some practical ways to apply it:

A. Confess and Repent

Acknowledge your mistakes before God. Be honest and open about your struggles, and ask Him for forgiveness.

B. Accept God’s Forgiveness

Meditate on Scriptures that remind you of God’s grace and forgiveness. Write them down and repeat them when guilt tries to resurface.

C. Let Go of Perfectionism

Remember that everyone falls short (Romans 3:23). You’re not expected to be perfect—only to rely on God’s strength and grace.

D. Seek Accountability and Support

Sometimes, talking to a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor can help you process your feelings and move forward.

E. Focus on Your Identity in Christ

Remind yourself daily that you are a beloved child of God, redeemed and made new by His grace.

Living in Freedom

Forgiving ourselves is not about excusing sin but about accepting God’s forgiveness and walking in the freedom He offers.

• Galatians 5:1 declares:

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.”

The yoke of guilt and shame is heavy, but Jesus invites us to exchange it for His light and freeing grace (Matthew 11:28-30).

Forgive Yourself Because God Has

The Bible teaches us that God’s forgiveness is complete and sufficient. When we hold on to guilt and refuse to forgive ourselves, we’re denying the power of His grace.

Forgiving yourself is not about minimizing sin—it’s about magnifying God’s mercy. It’s a declaration that His love is greater than your mistakes and that His grace is sufficient for you.

As you release the burden of self-condemnation, you can walk in the freedom and fullness of life that God has called you to. Trust in His forgiveness, let go of the past, and embrace the new creation He has made you to be.

“There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” (Romans 8:1)

Have questions or concerns about this topic? Send me a message—I’d be happy to continue the conversation with you.